Inner Demons
by SamxXxBluePulser
Summary: {Humanstuck} John is slowly going insane. He's bullied by his childhood friend Dave and abused by his boyfriend Karkat. Just when things are getting unbearable, John finds help in the stoner senior Gamzee Makara. But what John doesn't know is that everyone is hiding secrets from him, ones that could change his entire view on everything he thought he knew. Johndave, Johnkat, Johngam
1. Prologue

**Before you read this fic, if you love either Dave or Karkat to death, I need to warn you: they are both bad guys. They aren't nice, at all. Not until later anyways.**

**Poor John. This is what happens to my favorite characters. *sighs***

**The story will be in 3****rd**** person, mainly John's POV, but maybe I'll add in some of Dave and Karkat too.**

**Read on~**

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_**Monday, March 5**__**th**_

_It was dark, and John Egbert couldn't see anything. Or hear anything. It was like drowning in a pool of ink. He was suffocating. Drowning. Dying._

_Suddenly he was in his school hallway, by a very familiar rusted locker. He felt a wave of horror rise up inside of him, and didn't have the strength to quell it._

_Stomping down the hall were two boys. One was tall and muscular, with blonde hair and fierce red eyes hidden behind shades. The other was lanky and lithe, with messy black hair and piercing yellow eyes._

_He whimpered at the sight of his bully and his boyfriend. He wasn't sure which one was better. And suddenly they were right there in front of him. He knew what was going to happen._

_It came too quick for him to avoid._

_John fell back, clutching his swollen eye. He gave a cry of pain as he was slammed against the wall, his back bruising quite badly from the amount of force._

"_Karkat, stop…" he pleaded weakly to his boyfriend. As an answer, a swift punch was delivered to his jaw. This time, he screamed out in pain. A loud crack echoed, and a searing pain shot through his jaw. Two laughs, one low and rough, the other scratchy and hoarse, followed the noise. _

_John screamed, so loud that he could feel his bones shattering and the floor shattering and everything just exploded and—_

John Egbert sat up straight, gasping for breath. His hair was slick with sweat and he was trembling. It was just a nightmare, he told himself.

But this nightmare didn't and when he woke up. It consumed his entire life.

He turned slightly and squinted at the time on his bedside alarm clock. It was around 5 am. With a groan, John rolled onto his back, trying not to place his full weight on his left shoulder. Karkat had hurt it pretty badly yesterday. Not to mention his broken ankle, thanks to Dave. The bully enjoyed the sound of snapping bones. He suppressed a shudder at the very thought and hobbled to the bathroom,

He switched on the shower and let the hour water pour over his body, his sore muscles starting to relax under the constant flow.

As soon as he dried off and changed, it was already 6. He grabbed an apple and munched it as he slipped on his backpack. He locked the door behind him and started the 3-mile journey to school.

He entered the hallway to see Karkat waiting by his locker. A little off to the side, Dave was smirking at him, cracking his knuckles.

John took a deep breath and approached them, preparing to face his real life nightmare.

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**So, there's the prologue! It's supposed to be short. Hope you guys like, and please review!**

**I have the next few chapters already typed up, so as soon as I get a few reviews I'll post the next one.**

**~samx**


	2. Chapter 1

**Thanks for the reviews and follows guys :)**

**Read on~**

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"Hi Karkat." John said quietly, swallowing hard when the older teen growled. Karkat's eyes were narrowed as he took in John's appearance. He was too poor to afford crutches, so he used the wall for support. His jeans were ripped and his shirt was crinkled.

"You're late." Was all Karkat snapped before pulling John into a rough kiss. The younger boy let him, not responding or pulling back. After a few seconds, Karkat broke off and shoved John against his locker.

"You taste like mint. I told you how I hate mint." He growled, his fingers digging into John's arm. He winced and tugged his arm away. The older teen narrowed his eyes dangerously, sharp nails piecing John's skin. He gave a little cry of pain as Karkat slammed his head against the locker.

"You're a freaking waste of space." He spat, whirling on his heel and stalking off to class. The bell rang, and John was about to hurry as well when Dave blocked his path. He usually inflicted a lot more damage than Karkat, physically anyway.

"D-Dave, we're going to be late." John squeezed his eyes shut as a heel dug into the base of his foot and a fist hit him in the gut. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes as he gasped for breath. Not giving him any time to recover, Dave pushed John off balance. The ebony whimpered as Dave grasped him by the collar and lifted him up.

"You tell anyone about that day, and I'll do worse to you." He threatened lowly. He dropped the younger boy and disappeared into his next class.

John felt tears stream down his cheeks as he slowly picked himself off the ground. His head hurt like hell and his lip was bleeding. His ankle was even more screwed up than before. His stomach ached, and little crescent nail marks were bleeding on his hand. The hallways were empty, except for one person. John almost shuddered as he stared into violet, half-lidded eyes.

An upset frown was on Gamzee Makara's face as he stared at John. His usual rainbow pants hung low off his hips and his scraggly black hair cascaded down his back. He was known as the stoner clown of the school, as he was always getting high and smoking weed. His usual clown makeup was carefully applied, a bit scary, to be honest.

John took off down the hall—well, as fast as a slightly crippled guy could move—and was about to throw open the door to his history when the stoner blocked him, slender fingers wrapping around his thin wrist. Wincing, John didn't protest as he was dragged into the boy's locker room. It was empty.

"What—what do you want?" John meant to come out angry, but the words were soft and bitter. Gamzee just tilted his head to the side and studied the smaller ebony carefully. His eyes trailed over the injuries, a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

"You're one damn strong motherf*cker." He finally said in a deep voice. John blinked; how was he strong? He let Karkat use him, let Dave beat him up every day, and his father had sent him away to a different state…

"I—I—" to his horror, John felt tears rise in his eyes and fought to stop them. Gamee leaned forward, one hand tilting up John's head. He flinched away, but relaxed at this new, gentle touch. He looked up at Gamzee with round blue eyes.

"Cute little motherf*cker, why do Karbro and the coolkid hurt you?" the stoner asked with genuine curiosity.

"It's a long story, and how do you know Karkat?" John regretted asking this question; as soon as the words left his mouth, Gamzee's eyes darkened. His fists clenched and unclenched, and he growled as he stepped closer to John.

"S-sorry!" John squeaked out, swallowing hard. He wondered if a 3rd person to avoid was going to be added to the list.

"Me and Karbro got a long history." Gamzee took a deep breath, seeming to calm down. The ebony looked up into hazy purple eyes, wondering if he should run or not. It wasn't like he could make it to his first period class anyway.

"Oh. Why did you bring me here?" John asked, voice raising a notch higher.

"To motherf*ckin help a bro out, of course." Gamzee grinned, revealing a set of sharp teeth. The ebony swallowed hard.

"Why would you help me?"

"Because I want my Karbro back. Someone horrible's taken his place. Not motherf*ckin miraculous at all." He shook his head. Something about the strange way he talked calmed John, resulting in his next words.  
"Friends?" He smiled timidly.

"The name's Gamzee Makara."

"John Egbert."

"Well, Johnbro, let's say we ditch this place and up and get ourselves some motherf*ckin food." Gamzee grabbed John by his jacket and began to walk. He squeaked but followed the older teen, nervous. This was his first time ditching. He was hobbling on his hurt ankle, so Gamzee swept him up in his arms and carried him outside.

"Gamzee!" John's face flushed a soft shade of red as he was dumped in the backseat of an old truck. The stoner simply grinned and climbed into the front, starting up the engine. John hastily put on his seatbelt—just in time. Within seconds, Gamzee was cruising along the tiny school road going 60 miles.

John yelped and held on to the seat handles for his life, turning a sickly shade of green as the car swerved a corner and screeched to a stop outside a little café. Both of them got out—Gamzee whistling happily and John shakily holding the door—and entered the café.

A young women with dark hair and olive green eyes was bouncing around the tables, taking orders and giggling. A pair of cat ears was perched on her head. A tall, muscular man with black hair and cracked shades stood behind the counter, frowning when he saw Gamzee. The girl squealed in delight and nearly knocked Gamzee over.

"Gamzee! Mew brought a furiend!" She purred and smiled widely. John smiled nervously and waved a little.

"John, nice to meet you." The ebony said.

"How adorable mew are!"

"Nepeta, meet Johnbro." Gamzee grinned lazily at the man who was behind the counter, who wiped sweat off his forehead and ignored the stoner.

"Would mew like a drink?" she asked happily, scampering off when John nodded a little. He looked to Gamzee in confusion.

"She's motherf*ckin chill. She's Karbro's sister." Gamzee explained, sitting on one of the tables and pulling John with him. The ebony realized the older teen didn't know the rules of personal space. John kind of liked the subtle touches though. They made him feel more safe; secure. Those were feelings he had lacked for ages now.

He felt tears well in his eyes at the memory of first meeting Karkat. The older boy had seemed annoyed all the time, but was sweet when he wanted to be. Then, over the summer of their 7th grade year, something happened. Karkat went on vacation with a friend—John couldn't remember the name—and came back as an abusive and cruel boy. He was never the same again.

As for Dave…John had been his childhood friend. They grew up together very close, almost as brothers, but had one big secret—they were in love with each other. Since age 5, they had been kissing and hugging and just being with each other. But Dave had changed. He claimed he still loved John, but hit him and bullied him so the secret wouldn't be out.

John didn't realize he was shaking and crying until Gamzee's voice startled him.

"You ok, motherf*cker?"

John wiped his face with the back of a hand, nodding slowly. Gamzee looked concerned, lips pulled into a frown. He waved Nepeta over, who was coming over with a smoothie. He whispered something in her ear, a guilty look on his face. Her eyes widened and her gaze darted from Gamzee to John then back to the floor. She set down the smoothie on the table and backed away.

"I'm sorry." John mumbled; he was used to apologizing when something went wrong, even if it had nothing to do with him. If he didn't, and Karkat was around, he'd get hit.

"We need a plan, Johnbro." Gamzee rested his elbows on the table, and reached out to wipe away the rest of John's tears. Surprised, the ebony looked at him curiously. Gamzee lit up a cigarette and started smoking. John wrinkled his nose a bit at the acidic smell but didn't say anything.

"Plan?" John questioned, tilting his head to the side and widening his eyes.

"A plan to get you away from those horrible motherf*ckers, of course."

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**Please review. Once I get a few I'll upload the next chapter.**

**~samx**


	3. Chapter 2

**New chapter. Thanks for all the reviews!**

**Check out my story Bloodtstained Bride? It's Homestuck.**

**Read on~**

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Neither Gamzee nor John had any ideas, so they decided to meet after school, same place. Gamzee dropped him off and then drove away, probably to get drunk or high again. He walked into the school, taking a deep breath when he saw a very pissed Karkat sitting in music. He gulped and sat down softly.

"H-hi Karkat." John mumbled. The older boy whipped around, eyes flaring.

"You little f*cker. Where were you?!" his foot stomped on John's, making him whimper.

"Ow! I was…skipping." He said this last part very quietly.

"Without asking me?" Karkat's voice was a growl, and the ebony winced. He guessed he wasn't going to be meeting Gamzee after school anymore.

"We'll talk later." He growled, before shoving his lips against John's roughly. Startled, he instinctively pushed his boyfriend away. Karkat spilled out into the aisle, his eyes widening in surprise. John's hands flew to his mouth as he realized he was in deep, deep trouble.

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On Rainy Road, there is one pathway that led to a dark, winding road up to a small house. The house is shabby and small, but that isn't what you'd remember about it. The screams of pain, yells of anger, and stifled sobs would be the memorable thing.

* * *

John let another scream of pain as Karkat twisted his arm, hard. There was a snapping sound, and his boyfriend grunted in satisfaction before throwing him against the wall. John cowered, trying to shield himself from the next blows. Tears streamed down his face as a fist slammed into his gut, then his throat. He winced sharply, hands weakly flying up to defend him. It was pointless, however; Karkat just grabbed both of John's hands, kissed him hard, then brought his knee up to catch him in the stomach.

This made John cry in pain, and then he was sobbing so hard he couldn't see through the hazy sheet of tears, and his head was repeatedly slammed into the stonewall of the basement. A hoarse shriek escaped his bloody lips as he finally slumped to the floor, curling into a ball.

Karkat lifted him up, slung him over one shoulder, and locked him in the bathroom, where a hot shower and treatment to his wounds would follow. Whimpering, John managed to crawl into the shower, sitting on the edge. Blood pooled in the drain, turning the water a pale red. He sighed and with a shaking hands, brushed strands of blood-covered hair out of his face. He didn't feel like doing anything but sleeping.

He let the steaming water drip down his body, staying in the shower for over an hour. The longer he took, the better chance that Karkat would have cooled down some. He stood there until the hot water ran out, than dried himself.

"You took a long shower." Karkat remarked once John had gotten out, wearing just a towel. He felt fear bubble up inside of him as the taller boy stepped closer, but Karkat simply lifted up John's chin and studied him closely.

"Now my mark is on you." He smirked triumphantly, pecked John's cheek, and then proceeded to watch a movie with him after giving him some spare clothes. The ebony concentrated on trying not to scrape his wounds on the rough couch, and forced a smile whenever Karkat looked over.

That way, he didn't have to take another shower thanks to his new injuries.

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_**Tuesday, March 6**__**th**_

By the time the next morning rolled around, John had trouble getting out of bed. He was so sore that every muscle ached and trembled. On top of that, his arm was broken and in a sling. Who knew what Dave would do to it.

When John turned around after locking the door, the blonde was right there. He stiffened, expecting a smirk and a crude joke, but instead he frowned and carefully touched the sling.

"You ok, babe?" Dave asked gently, wrapping his arms around John and pulling him into a hug. John bit his lip; Dave was always like this. Almost bipolar. Alone, he would act like John and him were a couple; around other people, John was dirt to him.

"I'm fine." John buried his face in Dave's shoulder; he wasn't going to pass up nice opportunities like this. The blonde stroked the smaller boy's hair soothingly before pressing a kiss to John's forehead.

"You want me to carry you?" Dave asked, taking John's hand when he shook his head. The two walked in silence, the ebony limping slightly because of his hurt ankle. Dave carried John's backpack for him, the ebony blushing a little and mumbling a thanks.

As soon as they got to school, Dave dumped the books on the floor and promptly left. John sighed, wincing when he bent down, and gathered his materials. He saw Dave flirting with Jade, one of his old friends, and Karkat talking to one of his friends Sollux. They all used to be a big group, but ever since that incident, everyone avoided John and he was left friendless, not counting Karkat and Dave.

He sighed again and limped to first period, trying to ignore the little stabbing pains in his ankle. Luckily, Karkat was late for class, so he didn't have time to threaten John before class. They had a test, in which John failed because he hadn't remembered to study. Plus, it was impossible thanks to his punishment for skipping without letting Karkat know.

John slowly climbed to his feet when the bell rang, a swell of depression rising in his throat. Rushing to the bathroom, he threw up in one of the toilets, shoulders shaking.

"Johnbro! What's motherf*ckin wrong?"

He pushed past Gamzee, not in a mood to talk, and rinsed out his mouth with cold water, splashing his face to become more alert. Gamzee frowned a little, his clown makeup not completely applied properly.

"You didn't show up yesterday, bro. not very miraculous." He sighed. "Guess Karbro trapped you, huh?" John nodded silently, not flinching when Gamzee gently probed his bruised cheek. He was used to the stoner's surprisingly soft touch.

"You better up and get to class." Gamzee suggested, his hand brushing the other boy's cheek lightly. He offered a faint smile as John dashed off, his heart clenching.

He really liked the boy; John was cute, and smart, and Gamzee saw him like a little brother. But the secret—of what happened over the summer a few years ago—was dangerously close to coming out. That terrible night when all broke loose and things went so wrong, it was almost impossible to imagine.

And he'd do anything to prevent it. Even if it meant confronting Karbro again, after all this time.

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**Hm, wonder what Gam is hiding. Review please!**

**~samx**


	4. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews guys.**

**Read on~**

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John felt his breath hitch as Karkat kissed down his neck. He didn't know whether to cry or gasp. He didn't want this, he kept telling himself.

But it wasn't his choice. It was as if he was locked in a room, and the key was above his head. But no matter how high he jumped or how hard he tried, the key was always out of reach.

So John was trapped. He couldn't do anything. He was stuck, frozen as a pawn in a cruel game with no limits.

Cold tears trickled down his cheeks as he squeezed his eyes shut and willed for it to be over.

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_**Thursday, March 8**__**th**_

'Thanks." John mumbled as Gamzee handed him a raw steak to put over his swollen eye. It helped, soothing the pain that had been building over quite a few hours. He sipped the warm tea that Nepeta had given him and smiled gratefully. The tea eased his cold hands and took away some of the bitterness of the day.

He left soon after, as he had a date with Karkat in the library for studying for the upcoming history exam. As he was walking along the sidewalk, hood pulled up to protect him from the cold, he bumped into someone.

"Hey." John looked up in fear only to stammer out, "H-hi Dave…"

The blonde smiled a little, which meant he was in a good mood. He took off his scarf and wrapped it around John's neck, warming the other boy up with the sweet scent of cinnamon and lavender.

"Don't look so nervous, Egderp. I don't bite." Dave chuckled, wrapping an arm around John's waist as they walked into a different shop.

"I…have to meet Karkat soon." John mumbled, sitting down when the blonde motioned. He nodded, apparently already aware of this. Leaning across the little table, Dave kissed John's nose, grinning a little when the ebony flushed pink and looked away.

"I only need a minute." He stated.

"For what?" John asked curiously, as the waiter set down two little hot buns in front of them. Dave didn't answer, just blew on one and ripped off a piece, placing it in his mouth. The ebony did the same, rather hesitantly. Dave had been nice to him for two days in a row—unusual.

"To tell you I love you. Hot chocolate?" Dave waved the waiter over as John blinked and stared at him.

"You—what?!" his voice was disbelieving. He had sort of suspected it, but was sure it was just some weird delusion of his. Or so he thought.  
Dave clicked his tongue in annoyance, grabbing John by the front of his scarf and kissing him hard. The ebony's eyes widened and his hands flailed before he melted into the kiss, his arms snaking around to rest on the blonde's back.

"Now you better go so Karkitty doesn't get mad." Dave breathed, brushing his lips against John's forehead. Breathless and red-faced, John nodded and stumbled out of the shop, heading to the library in a dreamy sort of state. He knew he was still in love with Dave—in some sort of sick, twisted way—but their mini date had been amazing.

"What took so f*cking long?" Karkat demanded once John got to his table. He was shivering, but replied softly, "Dave stopped me. I'm sorry." He kept his eyes down until he was yanked into an empty aisle. Karkat kissed him, his lips soft and chapped. The kiss was delicate, something that surprised John. They pretended to be looking through books for research as people walked by.

After Karkat finished his essay, John helping him out, they left for John's house. This was both good and bad. Good because it meant no beating, but bad because Karkat would be angrier for that reason.

"Make us something to eat." Karkat snapped once they arrived, sitting on the couch and scowling. John quickly threw together a pizza and set it in the oven before cleaning up the kitchen. While waiting for it to bake, he decided to get his boyfriend in a better mood. Sitting by Karkat, he blinked up at him with round blue eyes, smiling. The older teen's face softened and he pulled him closer.  
"Cutie." Karkat mumbled in a moment of weakness and nuzzling the younger's neck. John snuggled against his side, not wanting to waste the opportunity. They both sat in that position for a while until the timer for the pizza dinged. John leapt up and got it out, waiting for it to cool before bringing it out to the living room. Both boys munched on a slice each, watching TV.

After a while, Karkat announced, "I'm bored."

"What do you want to do?" John questioned, his eyes still on the screen. He fell over when a hand smacked his cheek. Tears stung his eyes and the mark stung his face as he stared up with wide eyes at Karkat. Raising a hand, he touched his cheek lightly to find a bruise was forming. He backed up, pressing his back to the wall as Karkat advanced, a malicious look in his yellow eyes.

"Pay attention to me. Clear?" he snarled, roughly jerking John's chin up and hitting him in the gut with his elbow. John let out a little puff of air in shock and nodded frantically, his lips quivering.

"Good." Karkat kissed him; the ebony felt like crying as he forced himself to respond in an appropriate way, trying to force down the bile that was rising in his throat.

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Three hours later, John was done with homework. Karkat had left about an hour ago, saying something about meeting Sollux for some computer graphics help, so he had some alone time to relax and do the things he needed to. He scrawled down something random for Math, but took his time with science. It was a subject he really liked.

"Johnbro?" Gamzee poked his head in, expression uncertain. The ebony was startled and nearly dropped his binder.

"Gam! You scared me." He sighed and put the binder on the table, biting his lip.

"Wasn't the door locked? And how do you know where I live? Not to sound rude…"

"Nah, it was open. And the motherf*ckin school paper is handy." The stoner grinned widely, his pale purple eyes lazy.

"Oh. Come in." John smiled a bit, but it faded when Gamzee suddenly scowled and stomped in, his hand flying up to John's face. The ebony whimpered and recoiled back, but relaxed when his hand gently caressed the bruise on his face.

"Karbro?" he asked, voice not amused. John just nodded, not able to speak in fear of his voice cracking. Gamzee stared at him before hugging him tightly. The younger boy blinked back tears and hugged back, sniffling. Gamzee scooped up his small frame and set him on the counter, going into the bathroom to fetch some supplies. He came back with a bottle of cream and a bandage.

John winced as the cold substance was smeared on his bruise, but didn't object. Gamzee carefully smoothed down the bandage and ruffled the blue-eyed boy's messy black hair. John swatted at him, grinning.

"You wanna up and do something, Johnbro?" the older teen asked, helping him jump off the counter. John tilted his head to the side and said, "Like what?"

"Like motherf*cking cliff jumping." Gamzee showed his pointy teeth.

"Uh…that sounds dangerous." The ebony replied slowly.

"I've done it many times, Johnbro." His clown makeup seemed to be slashed across his face messily. John relented, agreeing to see how it was done at the very least.

"Yes!" Gamzee fist pumped and dragged him out of his seat, claiming it was going to be 'motherf*cking miraculous.'

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**Please review!**

**~samx**


	5. Chapter 4

**I forgot about John's broken ankle ;-; so sorry about that.**

**Read on~**

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"No way, Gamzee." John shook his head, almost trembling. He was clinging to Gamzee's arm, shrinking away from the guy with a purple streak in his blonde hair. He was called Erifin? Eridan? Something like that. John couldn't remember after all these years. He used to be apart of the big friend group.

"Aw, it'll be fine, bro. don't you trust me?" Gamzee revealed his sharp teeth in a grin, and John smiled weakly.

"Of course. But—"

"He's next, Eribro." Gamzee told the blonde, who nodded and pushed John towards the edge.

He shrieked, spun around, and tumbled over the cliff. A wave of energy ran through his body as he fell. The wind stung his eyes and whipped at his hair as he cried out, one foot scraping against the rocky face. He could see the skin had been ripped away, but before he could asses the damage, he hit the water.

The cold seeped through his clothes like it was nothing. He choked, trying to find the surface, but to no avail. He kept kicking helplessly, his lungs screaming desperately for air. Finally, he surfaced and gulped in a few breaths. He swam to the bank and pulled himself out, shivering. The burst of adrenaline he had felt earlier had disappeared. He adjusted his glasses, surprised that they hadn't fallen off.

He heard a splash and looked up to see Gamzee climb out of the water as well, his long hair dripping as it hung around his face. His makeup had washed away, revealing scars that looked like they had been slashed across his face with a knife. His eyes were dark as he advanced towards John, who scrambled back, terrified out of his wits.

"G-Gamzee?" John squeaked out, his back hitting the trunk of a thick maple tree. The older male bared his teeth in a wolfish grin. He was a foot away from John when his eyes faded back to the normal purple. He blinked and shook his head.

"Johnbro? Why do you look so motherf*ckin scared? You seen a ghost or something?" Gamzee questioned. He genuinely didn't remember his brief period of turning dark. John muttered a 'no,' starting to stand. Gamzee helped him to his feet, grinning lazily once more. His foot was bleeding quite badly, and it was the ankle that was almost healed, so Gamzee wrapped it up for him.

By the time the two of them got back to Gamzee's pick up truck, John was shaking so hard from the cold that his teeth chattered loudly and his glasses almost fell off his face. The stoner got a blanket for him, wrapping it around his small frame, and tossed him into the back of the truck before climbing in himself.

When they got to John's house, both got out, Gamzee not seeming to mind the cold.

"G-Gam?" John managed to say, pulling the blanket tighter around him.

"Yeah, Johnbro?"

"I'm c-c-c-old."

The older man hummed as he picked him up and carried him inside. John didn't protest as he was dumped on the couch. Gamzee rooted around in the closet for more blankets, throwing them onto the shivering boy.

"Sorry, bro. I didn't up and know you would get so cold." He said sheepishly, smoothing down John's damp hair. He wiped his glasses on the edge of a blanket and put them on, smiling gently.

"It—it's ok." He chattered out, snuggling into the mass of blankets.

"Well my shift is about to all up and start, so are you motherf*cking ok on your own?" Gamzee asked John, and when he nodded, patted his head and left.

John was left cold and alone as always.

* * *

"I'm sorry! I'm—AH—sorry! P-please stop, Karkat—AH!"

John fell to the side as Karkat shattered one of his kneecaps with a metal baseball bat. His arm was already broken. Tears were flooding down his face as he screamed loudly in pain, drawing his knee to his chest. The bone was sticking out at a horrible angle, and then Karkat kicked it.

There was a loud snap, and then John blacked out.

* * *

When he woke up, he was in a white room. He tried to sit up, but someone pushed him back down roughly. He blinked a few times to see Karkat's scowling face right near his. He whimpered and tried to move away, resulting in him gasping in pain.

"Listen closely. When the doctors ask you about your injuries, you don't take my name, or else." Karkat growled angrily, his fingers twisting John's hair. Teary, he nodded, trying to jerk his head away.

"O-ok!" his voice raised an octave as Karkat suddenly leaned in and kissed him. He shook his head and turned his face to the side. He couldn't take this now, so helpless to stop it.

Karkat growled once more but left the room, probably to get something to eat. Suddenly his bed started to rise, and he panicked, not seeing anyone.

"Calm down, babe," he heard a smooth voice say gently.

John raised his head and turned to see Dave. He relaxed and closed his eyes when he felt Dave kiss his forehead lightly.

"You need anything?" the blonde asked, and John shook his head. Dave got him water anyway, holding the glass because John's hands were shaking so much. Once that was finished, Dave pushed back the ebony's hair lovingly, rubbing circles with his thumb on his palm.

John felt relaxed; he took a deep breath and let it out, lips curving into a smile when he felt kisses placed on his forehead, cheeks, and nose.

"You're so cute, Egderp. Like really." Dave nuzzled John's neck, grinning a bit when the younger boy giggled.

"Karkitty will be coming soon. I better go. Love you." Dave pecked the ebony's lips and left as mysteriously as he had come.

John slumped back on the bed, wondering if Gamzee knew he was in the hospital. He wondered how long he had been out, and if his knee was ok. He tried to move, but to no avail. He was stuck.

John let out a sigh, closed his eyes, and fell into a deep sleep.

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**I don't know how broken kneecaps heal or how they break ok. Just a heads up.**

**For more Johndave, look at my new story Forbidden Apple of Fate :))))**

**Review please!**

**~samx**


	6. Chapter 5

**Sorry this is hort .**

**Read on~**

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_**Thursday, March 20**__**th**__**, 9:56 PM**_

Slash.

Slash.

Slash.

John stared down at the bright led liquid trickling down his hips and mixing with the water. He turned the shower to a hotter temperature, before angling the blade and slicing open the back of his leg. He loved the pain; he loved being able to concentrate on something else. He smiled a little as the stinging pain faded, replaced with a sweet, relieved feeling.

He washed away all the blood and turned off the shower, drying himself off. He bandaged up the cuts, his legs plastered with them. He changed into pajamas and was towel drying his hair when his phone rang. He glanced at the screen to see a message from Karkat:

_Be at my place in 5 min. Don't be late. Wear something you don't mind getting bloody._

He felt tears rise in his eyes and reached for the blade that he had brought from he shower.

It had been about 2 week since he had gotten out of the hospital. His knee was just sore, and the doctor said not to exert too much pressure on it. His ankle was perfectly fine.

The cold, hard silver edge smoothly sank into his skin, like a knife into butter. John felt that numbing pain overtake him and sighed in relief, twisting the knife to make the cut deeper. That was also when Dave walked into the room, saying, "John, do you—"

He stopped upon seeing what John was doing. The younger boy started trembling. The knife dropped onto the floor. Blood streamed down from the gash. Dave's eyes were wide, so wide that the ebony could see the whites of his eyes.

"You—did I make you do this?" Dave whispered, taking a few steps towards him. John closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, shaking his head. He felt arms envelop him, and twisted his body around so he could bury his face in Dave's shirt. He cried into the blonde's shirt, clutching him tightly. Blood leaked onto his white shirt, but he didn't care.

Right now, his main concern was John.

* * *

Gamzee paced back and forth in front of John's house, muttering to himself. The little guy didn't deserve all the pain that he was forced through, but what could he do?

_Tell him the truth_, a voice whispered in his ear. Gamzee growled. He couldn't tell John the truth. He would never.

When the little guy had wound up in the hospital, Gamzee had visited him almost every day. He made sure he didn't come at the same time as Karkat or Dave. Once, he bought cupcakes for John, and the little guy had cried. He was such a sweetie.

Gamzee sighed to himself, still pacing. He didn't know if he should enter or not. His head snapped upwards when he saw Dave walking down the steps, just having exited the house. His purple eyes narrowed as he met him halfway.

"Why the hell are you here, Makara?" the blonde hissed, crossing his arms.

"To see Johnbro." Gamzee snapped back, clenching his fists when Dave got up in his face.

"Stay away from him." he spat, then turned and walked off down the sidewalk, shoving his hands in his pockets. Gamzee sighed and headed for his car. Right before that, the door to the house burst open. His face pale, John limped out, starting to walk down the sidewalk in the opposite direction that Dave had. Gamzee turned off the engine and got out, wondering where he was going. He caught up to John, who jumped in fright, blue eyes wide.

"You scared me, Gam." John sighed, leaning against the older male for support and comfort. Gamzee smiled a bit and wrapped his arm around him.

"Sorry, bro. Where are you going?"

John tensed up, not answering the question.

"Karbro?" Gamzee asked, his suspicions confirmed when John nodded, tears starting to form in his eyes. He told himself to stop being a wimp, and blinked rapidly, trying to make the tears go away.

"You shouldn't motherf*ckin suffer," the older male stated. John looked up at him and shrugged a shoulder. Gamzee frowned deeply.

"I mean, you didn't do anything, Johnbro. It isn't your fault that—"

He cut himself off midsentence. John tugged on his shirt, saying, "That what, Gam?"

"That people change." Gamzee lied quickly. He felt bad when John's face fell and he let go of the stoner's shirt.

"Trust me, you don't wanna motherf*ckin know." He reassured. John just shrugged again. They turned a corner onto a dark street, a faded sign reading 'Rainy Street.'

"You better go." John said in a small voice, hugging Gamzee tightly. He was surprised, but hugged the small boy carefully, ruffling his hair. The ebony let go and smiled sadly at him before limping off the one of the houses, dreading what was going to happen next.

* * *

Soda.

That's what Karkat poured over his cuts. He made John lie on his stomach over the floor, and tore away the bandages. He kissed the cuts gently before ripping them open and pouring bubbling soda all over them. John's screams of pain echoed off the walls.

Karkat didn't care John was cutting himself. He didn't care that John was broken inside. He just used John, and disposed of him every time, like John was a tissue and was useless after once.

When he started sobbing, Karkat gave him permission to get up. Trying not to throw up, John washed his cuts very delicately, taking his time as not to hurt them further. There were tears in his eyes as he came out, flinching away when Karkat pulled him onto his lap and kissed him roughly.

He hated this.

Tears rolled down his cheeks, but Karkat didn't notice, as he was too busy kissing him. More tears fell.

John was going to lose it, very soon, if things didn't stop.


	7. Chapter 6

**New chapter; thanks for the reviews!**

**Read on~**

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John's broken arm really, really hurt.

And it hadn't been Karkat who had broken it.

Dave had promised him skateboarding lessons, and the two of them had been in the park, having a good time, and then it all went wrong when John asked about Bro.

Dave had shoved him off the half-pipe, and John tumbled down like he weighed nothing, fallen on his arm, and screamed in pain. The blonde had carried him back to his car and driven him to the emergency room because Karkat was out of town visiting his older brother.

Right now, he was sitting in his bed and waiting for Gamzee to visit him. the older male had promised him he was going to come and see him the minute he had gotten out of the hospital. His arm was sore and in a sling. He fingered the frayed edges and bit his lip.

The doorbell rang, and John flung it open to reveal a very serious looking Gamzee. His smile faded and he asked, "What's wrong, Gam?"

"You—you—take this. That's all I can say now. I'm so sorry." Gamzee thrust a wrapped package in his hands, leaned in, kissed John's cheek, and then closed the door. John was in shock, and when he opened the door again, Gamzee was gone. He sighed and sat on the couch as he started to open the package.

It was a photo album. It had a worn out leather cover. John flipped open to the first page and was surprised to see a picture of Gamzee and Karkat, laughing on the beach. Karkat's eyes were bright and he wasn't scowling, for once. Gamzee looked carefree as always.

He turned the page and was greeted by pics of Eridan, Gamzee, Karkat, Sollux, Dave, Bro and two people he didn't know. One was standing near Karkat, wearing a red sweater, was smiling a bit nervously. John assumed that was Karkat's older brother; they had the same chubby face. The other one he didn't know at first, to his shock, was himself. He was a lot chubbier and didn't have his glasses on in the picture. Karkat, who was grinning, was also carrying him. There was someone tall hidden n the shadows as well, their face too dark to make out features.

John gingerly set down the album as if it were a detonating bomb and stared at the opposite wall. He mind was in a whirl. He was trying to remember what had happened over the summer but he just couldn't. Something bad. And dark. It had changed everyone around to hate him.

He felt tears form in his eyes. He wondered why Gamzee had given him the album. He flipped through it randomly after a few minutes, and bit his lip when he saw the last picture. It was of him and Dave when they were younger, around 7, the blonde kissing his cheek. He swallowed hard and closed the album, tears dripping down his cheeks.

He needed to know what had happened over that summer to understand why his life was falling apart.

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Karkat was holding a flower and standing in front of a tombstone. Tears were rolling down his cheeks and his eyes were puffy. He had been standing in the cold for over an hour, just staring. The name on the rounded stone read: Kankri Vantas.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't s-save you." Karkat sniffled out, his voice cracking.

He remembered exactly how Kankri had died, but going over the actually memory in his head would leave him shaking. The most he could think of was the flash of purple, splattering blood, and a honking laugh. That was enough to push him onto the verge of tears.

He gently laid the flower on the mound of dirt and backed away. There hadn't even been a body to bury, not after Ga—he—was done with ripping apart Kankri.

No. he couldn't remember it. He just wouldn't. and he knew what would happen if John found out about what had happened over the summer. His hand went to his throat before he wiped away his tears and walked away.

The secret would be taken to Karkat's grave, just like his brother.

* * *

john woke up with a loud gasp. He dragged a hand across his sweaty face and took in a deep breath. He had dreamt that a tall skeleton with a stitched smile had ripped apart all his friends and then slowly, excruciatingly killed John in the worst way possible.

He carefully got out of bed, trying not to hurt his arm, and got a glass of water. his phone was charging but the screen was lit up, meaning someone had texted him. he walked over and read the screen, frowning a little. It was from Dave, and read: 'Meet me at the park in 5 min.'

John pulled on a jacket as best as he could and walked out, not bothering to lock the door behind him. when he arrived at the park, Dave's face was ashen. He pulled John into a tight hug without even saying anything. John hugged back with his free arm. The blonde drew back and took a deep breath.

"You don't remember what happened over the summer, do you?" he asked quickly and quietly, as if afraid someone would overhear. John's eyes narrowed but he shook his head.

"Good." Dave exhaled in relief and paced in front of the ebony for a few minutes he watched him silently wondering why it was so important.

"It's been so long since he came back and—the threat is still over our heads—I just cant tell you or-:

Dave exhaled deeply and turned to John, putting his hand on the ebony's shoulders.

"You must never remember the summer, ok?" he told him.

"Why not?" John frowned a little. He knew the memory was bad, but how bad could it possibly be?

"I just—please. For my sake."

John felt a flash of anger. Dave had broken his arm, and now was expecting him to suppress a memory for some random reason. But upon staring at the blonde's overly pale face, he sighed a bit and nodded.

"Thank you. Now get some sleep, Egderp."

There was a hint of his old tone in his voice as he kissed John's cheek and walked away. Chilly, John hurried home. On the way, upon passing a dark alley, he could have sworn he saw the same skeleton from his dream…

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**Are you guys confused? Have you figured out what has happened over the summer? Have you figured out what happened to Kankri?**

**Review and find out next chapter!**

**~samx**


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